Welcome to The Voice 2014 Season 6 Winner Results, recap and live blog for May 20, 2014. Who won The Voice Season 6? Was it two seasons in a row for Adam? Or was it a fourth title for Blake? Or was Season 6 the first win by a coach that isn't named Adam or Blake?
Christina and Jake are neck-and-neck on iTunes, but a glitch has kept Josh Kaufman out of the Top 10, and could affect tonight's vote! How will the show address the issue? And which singer from last night's performance show will be declared The Voice?
Rickey.org readers predict Christina Grimmie will win by an incredibly narrow margin of 36.35% to Josh Kaufman's 35.03%. Jake Worthington is predicted to finish in third with 29% of the vote. No matter how things turn out, it should be an exciting finale. But it's not too late to vote in the poll, so head on over to add your prediction! Also, check out the Top 3 post-show power rankings to see where your favorites landed!
Without further adieu, let's get this show on the road!
Credit: NBC
RECAP
-We open with a video package recapping last night's show, rendering the hourlong recap show that just aired utterly useless. Blake thinks Jake deserves to win because he'll be a future hero to others, while Usher feels Josh deserves this. Adam, meanwhile, truly believes that Christina had the best night of the three remaining finalists last night. He feels she'll win, and while I'd love for him to be right, I have my doubts that he will be. You know, because country music.
-And we're live with Carson noting that iTunes votes over last night's fourteen hour voting window will not be counted due to the glitch over Josh Kaufman's "Set Fire to the Rain" single. However, it apparently wouldn't have had much of an outcome on the result anyway. So what was the point then?
ONE REPUBLIC PERFORMS "LOVE RUNS OUT"
-I like the song, and Ryan Tedder is one of those vocalists that never gets his proper due, even though the man is insanely talented beyond just his songwriting capabilities. But all I could think during this was "Eh, Josh did it better."
-Back from break, Carson asks what the coaches would like to say to their contestants. Adam tells Christina that no matter what happens tonight, she'll have a record deal because he would like to sign her to his label. Shakira gets to talk even though she doesn't have a contestant left, and Usher posits that we could finally have a new coach winning The Voice. Blake says no matter what, he's going to miss Shakira and Usher. They have a group hug that thankfully doesn't become a selfie moment, before Shakira and Usher offer up "Thank Yous" to the band, the crew, their fellow coaches, and to Carson. A charming, endearing farewell.
JAKE PERFORMS WITH KAT, KRISTEN, AUDRA, MORGAN, AND RYAN
-Jake describes Kat as a "bad mamma jamma" while talking about how Kristen has always had her back. He chose Audra out of Team Blake loyalty and respect for her talent. He praises Ryan Whyte Maloney's abilities, and then notes he chose Morgan Wallen due to the musical sensibilities they share.
-They sing "Summertime" by Kenny Chesney, and I'll never stop loving that The Voice allows contestants to craft their own finale performances, complete with bringing back some of the better contestants who didn't get through. I just love that about this show, and it pays off here in spades. This is just a fantastic performance. I was particularly impressed by Ryan Whyte Maloney. Why didn't he get through, again?
-Apropos of nothing: Marry me, Audra.
-Back from break with Carson introducing a bunch of videos from fans and celebs (including Tara Lipinski) answering which Voice personalities they'd add to their Sprint Family plan if they could. A cute filler video, and nothing more.
CHRISTINA GRIMMIE AND ED SHEERAN PERFORM "ALL OF THE STARS"
-Because people need to be crying on a Tuesday night, Ed Sheeran and Christina Grimmie perform "All of the Stars," the song "The Fault In Our Stars". It's completely acoustic, and guys
GUYS
EVERYONE. "LISTEN TO ME."
THIS WAS STUNNING
I didn't love anything this season as much as I loved this. Ed and Christina's voice blended together beautifully, and it was just such a gorgeous, deeply felt vocal. So good. Seriously, SO GOOD. 10/10 would download.
NON-U.S. VIEWERS, WATCH HERE: Christina Grimmie and Ed Sheeran, "All of the Stars"
-Back from break with our next group performance, and it's a Hall and Oates classic! I LOVE THOSE GUYS!
DELVIN CHOICE, JAKE BARKER, MORGAN WALLEN, PATRICK THOMSON AND STEVIE JO SING "SHE'S GONE"
-They sound pretty damn great here. I gave this season a lot of guff in the early going, but this season actually had a fairly deep talent roster. Granted, my big issue was with how a lot of these contestants were used, as hardly any of these cut contestants were given songs that maximized their potential. This song is, surprisingly, a song that brings out the best in everybody. They could go on tour as a five-man group and it'd probably be a damn good show. I'm not kidding.
-Mel B. is in the audience to promote "America's Got Talent", as she notes they have great singers, a strongman who pulls a car with his teeth, and a pig who tries to solve a math problem. "Blake Shelton is on another NBC show?" Carson asks. Where has "this" Carson been?!
-Back from break with a special video
LIFESTYLES OF USHER RAYMOND
-Robin Leech (or a very good sound-a-like) narrates "The Lifestyles of Usher Raymond," who explains his personal mantras, such as "Evolve or evaporate" and "If you're the second winner, you're the first loser" or some other such silliness. He also talks about eating cabbage raw, among other quirks that apparently make Usher the impenetrable embodiment of cool he's been all these years. I kind of hope Usher isn't through with The Voice for good. He's not always the liveliest coach, but it's clear he takes this process seriously, and shows like this have too few coaches/judges/mentors like him.
JUSTIN MOORE PERFORMS "LETTIN' THE NIGHT ROLL"
-Justin Moore is apparently the Academy of Country Music's reigning New Artist of the Year, yet his voice renders him virtually indistinguishable from a young Blake Shelton. Maybe that's why he's been so successful? Either way, I don't particularly enjoy this song, even while I have no trouble admitting that it's actually quite catchy, and Moore sings it very well. It's just not my ticket.
JOSH KAUFMAN PERFORMS WITH TJ WILKINS, SISAUNDRA LEWIS AND STEVIE JO
-For his "Bring Back Performance," Josh is bringing back TJ Wilkins, Sisaundra Lewis, and Stevie Jo (hmm, he's popular tonight). Josh loves TJ's soulful style, and says the same of Stevie Jo, recalling when he sang Usher's own song and got him to turn his chair around during blind auditions. Josh also notes what a talent Sisaundra is, and how great it was to have her around this season.
-They perform "Am I Wrong" by Nico Vinz, and it's a groovy track that I wish Josh had performed at some point during the competition. It's the kind of modern, funk-influenced song that makes Josh feel immediately current and relevant in mainstream music. Not that he doesn't now, since I think he could be a smashing Adult Contemporary artist. But I think he might want more than that, so something like this would probably be the best route for him to take, musically. In short, I absolutely loved this. Everyone sounded like a million bucks, particularly Josh, who just lays it down here. TJ and Sisaundra bring serious fire too, and Stevie Jo continues to illustrate just why everybody has been picking him tonight. A terrific performance.
-After the performance, we throw to a video package honoring Shakira
YOU DON'T MESS WITH SHAKIRA
-Blake talks about how you never want to find yourself on the wrong end of an argument with Shakira. Usher says, "While she's talking, shut up." It's an amusing little video, with clips of Shakira's fiery arguments throughout the season. Adam notes she's a firecracker, and then mimics walking on eggshells when he's around her. All these clips of Classic Adam has me hating the blonde look even more. Okay, maybe "hate" is a bit strong. I don't really hate it, per se. I just don't particularly think it's a great look, is all. On the plus side, he at least matches hair color with Shakira, which makes them look a bit like feuding siblings here.
ED SHEERAN PERFORMS "SING"
-I didn't particularly care for this, even though I love the song and adore Ed. Maybe it's the awkwardness of how his falsetto on the chorus sounds live. I don't know, something just seemed off. That said, it was a very lively and electric performance that illustrates Ed's versatility, since it's miles from what he did earlier with Christina. I would be remiss if I didn't point out how awesome the set is for this, as he's surrounded by old TVs. I'm easily impressed by that sort of thing, obviously. (Come to think of it, I'm easily impressed in general.)
NON-U.S. VIEWERS, WATCH HERE: Ed Sheeran, "Sing"
-Back from break with Carson interviewing the eliminated teammates and friends of the finalists: Tessa and Bria wish Christina luck, saying "All for one, one for all." However, they also wish all the best to Josh and Jake because "We're all family here." Sisaundra and Audra wish Jake the best as well, while Josh's teammates want him to "kick butt."
JAKE WORTHINGTON PERFORMS "MOUNTAIN MUSIC" WITH ALABAMA
-It's more or less the performance you'd expect. If I didn't already know this song already, I'd think it was a Swon Brothers original. As it is now, it's mostly just an okay performance. It feels more like Jake and Alabama are just hanging out. And, honestly, that adds a bit to the performance as a whole, since there's a lighthearted, fun feel to it all. However, it just doesn't sound all that great, and I'm not sure if it's the acoustic, or Jake and Alabama being out of sync or what. But hey, it's the finale. As far as this show is concerned, these contestants are off the clock.
-Back from break, we throw to the girls' group performance, with Carson going through all their names lightning fast, and including a singer named "MJ". Apparently, he meant Melissa Jimenez. But did he ever once call her that during this season? JUST SAY Melissa Jimenez, Carson!
DANI MOZ, DEJA HALL, MADILYN PAIGE, TESS BOYER, AND MELISSA JIMENEZ PERFORM "UMBRELLA"
-I really wanted to like this. I really did. But this was the hottest of hot messes. It's as if each woman was singing a different song, in a different fashion, with Madilyn trying to draw out each note, Deja seeming hesitant, and nobody blending all that well. Such a shame, because these singers are all talented individually.
KIA CAR GIVEAWAY
-In this video, Josh talks about how much this experience means to him, saying that this is an incredible chance for him to win for himself, his family, and for Usher. For his part, Usher feels Josh would be a deserving winner. However, Blake feels Jake deserves this as well. Jake discusses what this means to him, and then we throw to Adam, who praises Christina, who says that Adam always would tell her to "do your Grimmie thing to it." The interviewer then asks how each of the finalists would feel to win a car. And we get the least surprising car surprise in history, as the studio lights up and they find all-new Kia cars behind them. Even with the studio lights dimmed, how on Earth did they not notice those cars behind them?
ADAM LEVINE IS A FAN OF EVERYTHING
-And now it's time for the Adam Levine tribute, as the filler rolls on. This is kind of amusing though, as the coaches talk about how everything seems to be Adam's favorite song. We get a montage of him calling all sorts of songs "one of my favorite songs," and calling a bunch of different singers "one of the best/most badass singers in the world." I never really noticed this before, but it's a funny point. Yeah, it was filler, but I thoroughly enjoyed this, right down to Blake lamenting that Adam has never listed one of his songs as a favorite.
ROBIN THICKE PERFORMS "GET HER BACK" WITH JOSH KAUFMAN
-The "Paula, Take Me Back" Tour 2014 is continuing for Robin Thicke, but man, am I glad he stopped here. "Get Her Back" is a minimalist jam that harks back to "Lost Without U," and it's a perfect fit for Josh's voice. I swear, both Josh's and Christina's pairings have produced some incredible moments, which is why it's such a shame that Jake's duet with Alabama was such a dud. Unless he has something else coming up, although with less than a half hour left until we crown a winner, I'm doubting it.
-Back from break with videos from home for each of the three finalists, and it's so endearing I found myself wishing "The Voice" did Hometown Visits as well.
TIM MCGRAW PERFORMS "CITY LIGHTS"
-Now this is more my speed. Of all the modern country tracks performed tonight, this was my favorite. Just an incredibly breezy, eminently enjoyable tune. And McGraw sounded damn good on the track, to boot. I might actually have to scoop this thing up on iTunes when this show is over. I genuinely enjoyed this.
CHRISTINA GRIMMIE PERFORMS WITH TESS BOYER, BRIA KELLY, AND JAKE BARKER
-Christina has chosen Bria for having a great voice, and for having an incredible rockers' sensibility. She also loves Tess and her voice, so she's in, naturally. Lastly, Christina selects Jake because he was such a good "big brother" to her during the competition. With her team assembled, she launches into "Team" by Lorde
-It's a decent performance, although I think Josh's group takes the cake for the "Bring Back" Performances. Still, this wasn't bad or anything, just kind of all-over-the-place. With that said, I forgot how much I liked Jake. And Bria hits an exceptional run towards the end that seems to go largely ignored in the background. So impressed.
BLAKE AND JAKE: CAUGHT IN A RAD BROMANCE
-Granted, they didn't actually title the video that, but I felt like being corny. This video is kind of great though, as it mostly centers on Blake and Jake bickering back and forth about everything from family, to music, to movies. Blake compares Jake to a little brother he loves, while Jake says Blake is like the uncle he never had. For his part, Blake says he can imagine standing in the winner's circle with Jake. It's a quirky little video that has a touching moment or two.
COLDPLAY PERFORMS "A SKY FULL OF STARS"
-Chris Martin sounds fantastic here, and the song isn't bad either. It's more of the ethereal, atmospheric semi-rock/not-quite-pop that Coldplay does now. I imagine it'll have its proponents and detractors, but this was a perfectly good performance to close out the season. It's kind of crazy to think how successful they are now. It feels like I was just picking up Parachutes yesterday and trying to get all my friends to listen to it. (Achievement Unlocked: Hipster Status) Still, these guys totally deserve it. Few bands deliver mainstream singles I like with anywhere near Coldplay's level of frequency, even though my enthusiasm for said singles wears off pretty quickly (Apple commercials made certain I got tired of "Viva La Vida" within weeks). I don't get why it's become such a cliche to like Coldplay, but these guys are great.
-Now, with all that having been said, can we just crown a winner already?
FINAL RESULTS
-And we get last words from all the finalists, with each of them thanking their coaches for everything they did, and getting emotional, but also increasingly nervous. Josh is honored to have worked with Usher and learned so much, while Jake adores Blake, and Christina loves Adam whether he signs her or not. Time for the results
CHRISTINA GRIMMIE finishes in THIRD PLACE!
JAKE WORTHINGTON is runner-up!
JOSH KAUFMAN WINS THE VOICE 2014!
TEAM USHER IS VICTORIOUS!
NON-U.S. VIEWERS, WATCH BELOW:
THE VOICE -- "Live Finale" Episode 621B -- Pictured: (l-r) Josh Kaufman, Usher -- (Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC)
-Because NBC is terrible at timing out its shows, we get some brief words from Josh and NO VICTORY PERFORMANCE?! Nope, we immediately cut to black as that's a wrap on Season 6 of The Voice. Well that's just silly. But hey, now Adam and Blake aren't the only coaches to have won The Voice! That's kind of outstanding, actually.
-So what did you think of the results? Did the right artist win The Voice? Sound off in the comments! And thank you for hanging out with us this season! We'll see you in the fall! (And hopefully before)
The post The Voice 2014 Winner Results - Live Finale - 05/20/2014 appeared first on Rickey - Entertainment News, Videos, Recaps, Results, Spoilers.
The attached file is an article I have written for various music magazines.
It is entitled Carpal Tunnel Syndrome: Explanation and Prevention. Although it is meant for the musician, it has pertinent information for anyone suffering from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Enjoy!
Dr. Timothy Jameson
Bayshore Chiropractic Holistic Health Center
Castro Valley, CA
510-582-5454
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome: Explanation and Prevention
by
Timothy J. Jameson, D.C., C.C.S.P.
Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS) is a nemesis prevailing
throughout the musical professions. It has threatened and has
ended careers of many promising and well respected artists.
Education within the profession is of vital importance to
prevent the occurrence of this disease. This article will
explain why musicians are susceptible to developing CTS, the
causes of carpal tunnel syndrome, and finally, prevention of
these injuries.
What makes a musician susceptible to CTS? There are
numerous factors that all play an integral part. These injuries
are reported more in females than males. The numbers available
only tell us who reported the disease, not how many suffer from
the disease. This may be two totally different statistics.
There are many musicians who do not disclose their suffering in
fear of losing their jobs, especially if they are members of
orchestras where each position is sought after by many
applicants. We have learned that approximately 75% of symphony
musicians have suffered at some time in their career with a
musculoskeletal injury. Thus the prevalence is extremely high
within musicians. It has been suggested that people who are of
lesser build and have a smaller body frame are more susceptible
to injury due to the forces imposed upon the body by repetitious
movements. Symptoms usually result from a sudden increase of
practice time, a change of teachers, a change of instruments,
and long practice sessions without breaks. Smokers run a high
risk because of nicotine's constrictive affect on the blood
vessels. Anyone with underlying disease states such as
hypothyroidism, diabetes, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid or
osteoarthritis, blood vessel disease, and obesity, will be more
likely to develop CTS. Pregnant women tend to develop CTS
because of fluid retention, but the symptoms usually subside
once the pregnancy is over. Nonmusical professions such as
computer inputting or programming, and hobbies such as knitting
can lead the musician to CTS. Previous neck injury from a car
accident, from a bad fall, or from any trauma needs to be
evaluated. Previous shoulder injuries, such as dislocations are
important to note. A history of broken bones in the arm,
forearm, wrist, clavicle, shoulder blade can be a predisposing
factor. Finally, the particular instrument played by the
musician increases susceptibility. Violinists, violists,
guitarists, pianists, and percussionists are most at risk.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with CTS, the
following is a list of symptoms associated with the malady. CTS
leads to pain, numbness, tingling, and when at its worse,
weakness in the first three fingers of your hand. Symptoms can
occur in the forearm as well. Many sufferers complain of pain in
the hand or arm while sleeping. The person suffering from this
disease may experience difficulty holding the instrument,
clumsiness, drops objects such as glasses, and cannot grip well.
When it is severe, the artist loses complete use of his/her
hand, and will usually begin using the opposite hand to perform
daily activities.
It is my opinion that 80% to 90% of "carpal tunnel
syndrome" cases are not a direct result of median nerve
entrapment in the wrist. (This is the nerve that passes through
the small tunnel formed by the bones of the wrist and a
ligamentous covering). This is a controversial statement, but
my clinical experience has shown that most cases termed "CTS"
are a result of a combination of musculoskeletal and
neurological problems stemming from the wrist as well as in the
arms, shoulders, and neck regions. This is why it is necessary
to find a competant doctor who will investigate all these areas
to determine the extent of injury.
To explain how carpal tunnel syndrome develops, I
like to use the following analogy when explaining nerve flow
from the neck to the arms. Imagine the nerve in your arms are
like garden hoses, with water (energy) flowing at full pressure
when working properly. If you have arthritis in your neck,
previous whiplash injuries, misalignments of the spine, or
spinal curvature problems, this will cause a "kink" in the hose,
and decrease the flow of water (energy). This will lead to a
40% - 50% decrease of nerve flow to the arms and hands. The
nerves than pass under certain muscles that are tight and
constrictive, and the nerve flow may decrease to 30%. It gets
kinked as it passes through the carpal tunnel, leaving only 5%
or 10% of its normal energy, thus the numbness, tingling, and
weakness. This is why I state that performing surgery on the
wrist is usually not effective, since many times the problems
lie above that area.
A predisposing factor to this insult on the nervous
system is poor posture while playing the instrument. I will
not go too deeply into posture here due to space limitations.
Just keep in mind that when your mother told you to sit up
straight, it still applies while playing your musical
instrument! A hunched forward posture will create pressure on
the nerves traveling from the neck down through the shoulder.
This is especially important for the acoustic guitarist who
leans forward over the instrument while playing, and also the
pianist who leans forward to read sheet music. Inefficient use
and overuse of the hand and arm musculature while playing the
instrument is another major factor. How many of you keep a
pinkie pointed outward and extended while playing? How many of
you apply great amounts of pressure on to the fretboard or
keyboard with your fingers? How many guitarists put a
tremendous amount of pressure with their thumb on the neck of
the guitar, especially while playing bar cords? These aberrant
muscle actions lead to fatigue and soreness. Over a long period
of time, the body retains a somatic memory of these positions
and it becomes difficult to change them. This is where such
techniques as Feldenkreis and the Alexander Method come into
play.
How does the musician prevent these maladies from
occurring? The artist needs to use common sense and increase
his/her body awareness. Musicians are compared to athletes
because of the amount of training involved to play the
instrument, and the repetitive nature of the muscle movement.
The big difference is that athletes usually train with the
larger more powerful muscle groups. Musicians on the other
hand, need fine motor control of the smaller muscle groups of
the hands. Consider yourself an athlete preparing to train when
you pick up your instrument next time. Have you warmed up your
muscles adequately to "train"? Have you increased overall blood
flow and heart rate by performing some mild aerobic exercise?
Have you stretched the muscles in the arms, hands, and neck? If
you have not done these exercises, you are risking injury, just
as an athlete who runs a 100 meter race would if he/she did not
warm up beforehand.
The most important advice I can give is to take
breaks at least every 45 minutes. These breaks should be for 10
- 15 minutes in length and should include stretching and
self-massage on the arms, hands and shoulders. Become aware of
your body's needs. After you are done practicing, rehearsing,
or performing, don't just throw the instrument in the case and
leave. You need to cool down the muscles. Perform stretching
exercises and elongate the tightened muscle groups.
The more you as the musician become "in tune" with
your body, the better off you will be. Read books on
stretching, massage, and proper nutrition. Education,
prevention and maintenance are the keys to a pain free career.
Do not wait until symptoms arise to begin learning about
prevention. Start now - your musical career is depending upon
it!
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Aunty Eya firstly I want to thank you and every other person that advised me when I needed it... I am the corper Maria serving in Oyo state that wrote you some months back about my boy friend that cheats,it wasn't easy to let go but after reading all the comments, both d ones that abused me and d ones that understood my plight then, I had to let go and move on to better things,if I didn't let go I wouldn't have met a wonderful guy,I say thank u once again...Secondly, I want to thank you 4 making me meet my prince charming that treats me like a queen,I love you so much (Gods love)on the 27th of April, I saw the post about the guy that wanted to meet a wonderful Nigerian lady, after reading the comments I was scared but I still sent him a text. Then he called me that same night,we got talking and fixed a date to meet,I took a risk but God was with me and the risk was worthwhile, to cut the long story short we saw and we are now dating.Those that called the guy fake and other names,the guy is everything a woman needs,he's handsome,caring,treats me like a queen, adores me and has a positive character..After everything I went through in the hands of my ex God sent an angel my way...Aunty thank you so much 4 making me meet my prince charming..pls keep praying 4 us.Ahdaisy,Bona and Ace I love your comments keep it up...cheersSent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTNThis article is (c) Copyright - All rights reservedwww.wivestownhallconnection.com
Courtship, Love and Marriage in Viking Scandinavia
Part VI:Divorce in the Viking Period
In order to complete a survey of marriage in Viking Scandinavia, one must briefly examine the custom of divorce. The Vikings were unique as a medieval European people due to the extensive provisions they made for divorce. Even after Christianity became the accepted religion of
Scandinavia, divorce continued to be a prevalent custom in the North, acting as a social safety valve for a people whose marriages were arranged to the benefit of their families instead of for the maximum happiness of the wedded couple. Divorce allowed an unhappy couple to seperate and try again with new partners, before resentments grew into hatreds that could spawn feuds and violence. By looking at the laws and customs surrounding divorce, one may gain a greater understanding of the conditions expected to prevail within a Viking marriage as illuminated by examples of the actions which would bring a marriage to an end.
The Arabic poet al-Gazal reported that he was told by a Danish queen that "jealousy was unknown in that country, and that women stayed with men of their own free will, and left them whenever they wanted to" (Jacobsen, Sexual Irregularities, pp. 78-79). While this is not a completely accurate statement, examination of the sagas shows that women were often the ones who initiated a divorce (Frank, p. 478). This was probably due to the fact that men had greater social and sexual options, being free to travel and to take concubines, while the wife was often tied to the homestead by her various managerial duties and denied sexual outlets other than her husband. The divorce laws show that definite circumstances warranting a divorce were necessary, and that al-Gazal's picture of capricious bed-hopping did not reflect the reality of Viking life. Since marriages were contracted to benefit the families of the wedded couple, no doubt there would be pressure to continue the alliance if possible, but sometimes this just could not be done (Jochens, Icelandic Heroine, p. 45).
The icelandic law code, *Gragas*, allows divorce in only three
cases. The first was if the couple gave each other "large wounds" or *meira sar metiz* (Jacobsen, Position of Women, p. 51), generally defined as those wounds which penetrated the brain, body cavity or marrow (Jochens, Icelandic Heroine, p. 45). The second was the case in which a couple was too poor to support themselves and had to rely on their familes for support, in which case they could be forced to divorce by their kin, or a divorce might be grabted "if one spouse with little or no money of his- or her own was suddenly charged with the support of poor relatives" (Jacobsen, Secual Irregularities, p. 75; also Jacobsen, Position of Women, p. 53), thus enabling the solvent member of the partnership to escape with his- or her goods safe from predation by in-laws. The third legal provision for divorce was if a husband tried to take his wife out of the country against her will (Jacobsen, Position of Women, p. 51). If one of these conditions was not cited, *Gragas* states that "no divorce shall exist" (Jochens, Icelandic Heroine, p. 44). This may be due to the fact that the redaction sof
*Gragas* which we possess today have been influenced to some degree by canon law, for the sagas list a whole variety of grounds for divorce which are not mentioned in the law code.
The reasons given in the sagas for divorce would be familiar to any twentieth-century divorce court. First were problems with relatives, such as a family feud (Frank, p. 478), or one spouse failing to treat the family of the other "with due consideration" (Williams, p. 107). Family violence was also a reason for divorce, especially in those parts of Scandinavia heavily influenced by Christianity where divorce was harder to obtain.
Aside from the "large wounds" cited in *Gragas*, a spouse might seek a divorce because the other partner made mocking verses about him or her (Frank, p. 478), excessive anger or jealousy displayed by one spouse (Jochens, Icelandic Heroine, p. 39), or if one partner slapped the other.
Slapping a spouse, especially in front of witnesses, was considered extremely humiliating (Williams, p. 106). The Gulathing Law of Norway made special provisions against a husband slapping his wife: if a man struck his wife in front of witnesses, she could not only claim monetary compensation for the blows equal to what he would have received had another man struck him, the wife had the right to divorce the husband on top of the fine after the third slap (Jacobsen, Position of Women, p. 116). Slapping a wife is the most common reason given for a divorce in the sagas (Jochens, Icelandic Heroine, p. 39). Occasionally a woman did not feel that divorce was sufficient retaliation for the insult of a slap: Hallgerd in *Njals saga*
was involved in the deaths of two husbands who made the fatal mistake of slapping her (Magnusson and Palsspn. Njal's Saga. pp. 59 and 123).
A couple might also divorce for what modern courts would class as
sexual reasons. If a woman committed adultery, divorce was the least of the penalties she might have to face, being also at risk for punishments ranging from fines to being slain if caught in the act by her husband in some parts of Scandinavia. On the other hand, a man committed adultery only if he slept with another man's wife, and his extramarital activities were never grounds for his own wife to divorce him (Frank, p. 479). A divorce might be granted for what has been called "an icelandic variety of nonconsummation"
(Ibid., p. 478; Magnusson and Palsson. Njal's Saga, p. 52) as described in
*Njal's saga*, or if a man failed to sleep with his wife for three years in a row. Another reason found for divorce in the sagas was what we might term
"cross-dressing." If a husband wore effeminate clothing, especially low-necked shirts exposing his chest, his wifge could then divorce him (Magnus Magnusson and Hermann Palsson, trans. Laxdaela Saga. NY: Penguin.
1969. p. 125), and if a woman appeared dressed in men's trousers, her husband could then divorce her (Ibid.; also Williams, p. 114). Even if a couple did not have one of the reasons listed above, they might still dissolve their marriage citing incompatibility, general dislike, or unhappiness in the marriage (Jochens, Icelandic Heroine, p. 39).
The basic procedure for obtaining a divorce was for the couple to
declare their intention before witnesses (Christine Fell. "Viking Women in Britain," in Women in Anglo-Saxon England (Bloomington: Indiana U.P. 1984.
p. 140). If only one of the two spouses wanted the divorce, "witnesses were called in, the dissatisfied party declared him- or herself divorced and forced the other person to leave" (Jochens, Church and Sexuality, p. 379).
The declaration had to list the reasons for the divorce, and has to be repeated before witnesses in the couple's bedroom, in front of the main entrance to the house, and before a public assembly (Williams, p. 108)
After declaring a divorce, the couple had to agree on a settlement
dividing their property. As soon as the divorce proceedings were underway, the woman could take possession of all her property, no matter what the eventual outcome of the settlement (Jacobsen, Position of Women, p. 53).
The division of property was arranged in such a way so as to penalize the partner demanding the divorce. If the divorce were due to equal poverty of the spouses, or because of mutual unhappiness with the union, then neither was penalized: the wife recieved her dowry and morning-gift, the husband took back the bride-price, and if they had commonality of property, the woman received one-third of their common possessions (Ibid., pp. 54-55). If the husband were the one who demanded the divorce, his wife received the bride-price, dowry, morning-gift, and one-third of any common property. If the wife had instigated the separation, she received only her dowry and the morning-gift. If any property dispositions had been included in the marriage agreement, these were followed in the same manner that pre-nuptial agreements are used today. By financially penalizing the partner who wanted the divorce, property division customs served to keep married couples together except in the most serious cases.
After the divorce, child support was contributed by each parent
according to his or her ability to work, and this was further supplemented by the families on either side. There were no firm rules for determining custody, although the mother always kept a nursing baby for its first year, and had custody of all her children if her husband later died. (Ibid.).
Divorce, made freely available, served the Vikings as an
indispensable social custom that complemented their marriage laws and practices. Scandinavians in the Viking Age could and did wed for love and not for familial advantage, but these unions were often made by men and women who already had had the experience of marriage, and sought to make their succeeding unions better ones.
If you wish to print any or all of this paper in a newsletter for the S.C.A.
or Asatru, please contact me for permission first. In general, I will grant permission so long as a copy of the publication that my work appears in is mailed to me for my files.
gunnora@bga.com
Gunnora Hallakarva
10408 Little Pebble Drive #A
Austin, TX 78758-4927
USA
I've been prompted to introduce myself so thought I'd take a shot at it.
I had several girlfriends, sometimes simultaneously, until I met the "woman of my dreams". We had a torrid affair and after several months we married. Two years later, we had our first child but by then the honeymoon was over. We always got along well but the differences in our personalities, intellect, dreams, ambitions and favorite pastimes became pronounced. I rationalized that no one is perfect and that a good marriage requires certain compromises, accepted it all as just part of married life and - because the sex was always awesome and our combined incomes provided everything we desired - resolved to be a good husband and father. We had two more kids, raised them well and strong and continued in our "content" mode for 30 years, though I always longed for the days when I was single and free to date whomever I pleased. This longing to enjoy the company of a variety of women manifested only in an increasing submerged resentment on my part for the mundanity of our existence. She had her career and I had mine. And both of us being Type As, we poured our souls into them, working all hours and only seeing each other briefly in the morning and before sleep. We did take steps to ensure we spent some "quality time" together on the weekends - even had a "date night." But such dates were more like a meeting of the family Board of Directors, conversations centering on kids, bills, work, etc. - a great partnership as managers and bedmates, but bereft of any real romance and adventure. My attempts at same were much appreciated and enjoyed, but our underlying personality differences on that score belied them as the charades they actually were. This set the stage for both of us having long unfulfilled needs, needs that could not be fulfilled through each other.
Simultaneous to the 2008 economic downturn, she had a several month long affair and reported it to me after she had ended it for the good of our marriage. Almost overnight, both our careers were in ruin as well as our long "contended" marriage. We went through counseling and tried to fix something we had put so much of our lives into. But the more we dug down deep into the causes and unexpressed feelings, the more it became clear to me our fundamental incompatibility with respect to each other and, for me, with respect to the upper middle-class treadmill lifestyle she treasured. Both events ripped away the social veneer we had worked so hard to maintain, and exposed who we really are without it. It also brought to light for me why I had remained in it for so long. More than mere convenience, companionship and possession, there was the fear of losing same. I had compromised my personal freedom and autonomy for them, and her, and had failed to embrace the fact that I had regretted it ever since. Facing those fears as the mere shadows they actually were, and re-engaging with who I actually am, made them evaporate.
Although it was stressful and painful to confront the fact that one's entire life is merely a hard-won facade, it is truly liberating. Despite her great anguish, regret and professed love me for me, now that the kids were all grown and independent I decided that we should go our separate ways. Though she did not ask, I gave her all of our worldly possessions - material things that I now viewed as merely burdensome old baggage accumulated as part of a delusion - and, taking not more than the weight limit for international flights, took off for foreign shores to fully regain perspective.
It has been 4 years now and, though living a minimalist lifestyle, I have met many incredible women, a few of which I maintain ongoing relations.
When a man realizes that it is his evolutionary nature to lead his own life without compromise and have or not have as many women in his life as he chooses and at his discretion, many of the problems causing much of the angst expressed on this sight evaporate, as does women's behavior toward him.
I am glad to be among friends.
Source: dating-coach-anita.blogspot.com
Saw Derya at Marcus's 30th, and the girl has gone and lost even more weight. She's down to wearing sizes 8 and 10 these days. Naturally, I'm jealous as hell, and it also inspires all sorts of competitiveness in me; both of which are unnattractive qualities at the best of times, and verging on terrible when it comes to your close friends. Think Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan, only in our case, only one of us is losing weight.
I see her standing there, chatting away airily with a glass of champagne in her hand, and I ask myself, 'Why, why can't I do that?' She is wearing a tiny little pencil skirt which nips in gracefully at her slender waist. Her collar bones jut out in a charming feminine fashion, and her slim legs appear to have lengthened, and end in a pair of signature stylish Derya shoes.
The truth of the matter is, I can do it, if I am to stick to a set of rather strict eating rules she has appointed herself. A stern reminder that the grass is always greener on the other side, and in this case, the grass is generally of the fat free variety. To give her the credit she deserves, she has worked terrifically hard to look this good, and is not in the least bit smug about it. Rather, she is wonderfully inspiring, generous, and motivating with her tips and advice.
Everything she has told me, makes perfect sense. Cutting out saturated sugars and fats, eating leaner cuts of meat (she has actually removed red meat from her diet), not snacking between meals etc - all standard weight loss stuff. However, the biggest cause of her weight loss she says, is not eating late at night. She eats dinner at 6pm at her desk at work, and then nothing again until breakfast the next morning. The body apparently metabolises at a far slower rate at night which means that the later you eat, the more of it goes on your hips.
Now this is where I have a problem. Whereas I am more then happy to go hungry if I am on my own, I love the ritual of eating with someone. That wonderful mixture of tastes in your mouth, accompanied by a good glass of wine, and a juicy conversation you look forward to all day. Robert and I eat together each night, unless of course we are seeing friends or have other engagements, and it is our opportunity to talk about our day and have a gossip, and generally connect with each other. At 6pm, he is just getting home, changing his clothes and making a beeline for his computer with a cup of tea. Once we have done our various forms of evening unwinding, we land up eating between 7.30 and 8pm.
I have to agree with Derya; when I want to loose weight, eating a big lunch and skipping dinner tends to do the trick. However, Robert tends to have big business lunches which are part and parcel of his job, which means eating early (if we are are to eat together) is not an option.
More so, cooking is also a joint favourite activity; which sometimes involves Robert getting all Gordon Ramsay on me; ushering me out of the kitchen in the direction of the sofa, sticking a glass of wine in my hand, and then returning the stove to embark on his culinary creativity undisturbed.
I am beginning to realise that all of this points to only one alternative; getting my metabolism up, and burning all of those extra late night calories, which, unfortunately, means a regular dose of one thing...
Today we went to the gym at lunch-time. I had no idea how full it was going to be, and if I'm honest it also had a hint of the pick-up variety one tends to associate more wth the 151. I guess all those endorphins can have a similar effect to the cheap wine one gets at the 151, as there was a fair bit of checking out going on. Still, heads down and all that, and I managed to get in a good hour; 20 minutes on the treadmill at a fair rate, and then a variety of weights designed to torture, I mean work out, all the various muscle groups.
Those big balls they have look like fun don't they? Wrong, they are instruments of pain - the worst kind of pain. My induction person showed me a great excercise using one of these balls to work the thigh muscles, specifically those one uses when skiing. I recounted my various ski fears/theories, and she reckoned that with strong, fit legs, my skiing would improve in leaps and bounds. I hope she's right, because this evening I am struggling to walk, and I just know upon waking up tomorrow morning I am going to be in agony.
Still, I have visions of myself careening down mountainsides wearing an all-in-one Bond Girl ski suit (which in reality is very naff unless you are tall, blonde and Sweedish), looking, and more so feeling, terrifically confident. I need to hold onto this dream if only to motivate myself to keep going to the gym.
More importantly, there is our wedding, and I would very much like to wear a dress which doesn't reveal upper arms of the Russian lady wrestle kind. I want to look slim and toned, not like I got stuck into the wedding cake the night before.
So, it's gym, gym and more gym - eating sensibly, and trying very hard not to be too jealous of Derya, whom I would very much like to keep as a close, albeit it annoyingly thin, friend.
Today's concern is a harsh one. Oh, they're all harsh. From mental condition issues to motherhood tests submit is no easy give away for any love problematic. But the toughest ones for me to read are the ones where waste is so unconcealed to the rest of the world, but not so a good deal to the poor ladies that torment yourself with this every single day. Many of you women plan in on this very concern and I wish I may possibly give away them all. Currently we are going to policy this concern and I coming and yearn for that citizens of you who sing your own praises not had a letter answered yet will withhold note! Approximately is a very lead question I get, "I think he's abusive and I want to concede how to get him back. Help!"
That's clear a good deal the please of today's question, and I'm about to say, let that fish go be keen on. See, the penniless mania is that most of these questions do not flatten use the word waste, which suggests to me that you poor women don't flatten challenge that it's inside. It doesn't sing your own praises to be hiding or slamming or slapping or punching for it to be waste. If a man is not treating you with territory and respect, and is hiding or slamming or slapping or punching your emotional base strings without any concern for your emotional benefit, it's waste. Stretch of time. You don't need to concede how to get him back, you need to concede how to move on, doctor, and find the man that will give you the territory and respect you so worth.
The problem is that we don't think extremely adequate of ourselves to flatten side subsequent to he's behaving oh so erroneous. A mean word about or submit, hey, it happens in the throes of rivalry. But subsequent to this is inside every single day of your relationship, you need to get out. Offering is no reel of No Tap Matter that will game reserve your relationship, unless he experiences some overweight psychiatric help yet to be you flatten research paper taking him back.
Today's reader, I am going to call her Cherub. Let's look at her story, one that I concede is all too recognizable with numerous of you.
Hi,I coming you can help me sort out bits and pieces..my situation is very hard and flatten I can't understand why bits and pieces are like this now..Highest my bf is like a hard to get guy, I CAN'T ASK QUESTIONS, I CAN'T ASK Someplace HE'S Goodbye OR WHOM HE IS WITHhe always believed it's a commerce matter and I require not question him.
We're existence together but subsequent to he's upset with me HE Moral fiber Forever Take THIS Craving OF SLAPPING Me that I DON'T Take THE Totally TO ASK HIM Anything flatten if he comes home with a woman or [sleeps with] all the women he wantsIt hurts you concede, flatten sometimes citizens bits and pieces make me fanatical..
WE HAD Accurate Sober Exertion AND Accurate OF IT WAS MY Pause..erroneous decisions and it dice him..He doesn't trust me with anything anymore such as of my in the absence of, but we're still existence togetherBut sometimes he wants me to look up for my own place..I'm just at home and executive household tasks for him.consequently finishing month he believed he will sing your own praises a visitor from his family so I sing your own praises to look up for a place to adjournment..In addition to subsequent to I stiff a place at what time a week he destitute up with me..he believed he doesn't like my attitude that always asking bits and pieces that he doesn't like.I can't help but txt or call him such as,he promised me he will call and txt me, BUT IF I DONT TXT OR Cuddle HE WON'T Call back ME..
In addition to, I beg him to meet me such as I miss him so a good deal. He deposit and we watched silver screen..consequently calculate eating he told me THERE'S NO Inhabitants Outlook TO THE Lodging HE Chastely Hunted ME TO Encounter No matter which To the same degree Somewhere else With HIM,..he believed I can always go back whenever I want so I significant to go back that night toothen on his laundry submit a used show like a sign that accomplice made love..and I asked him, he believed it's a man mania such as he missed me but it's strange.
I coming u get what I meanI'm 2 weeks now back about on his site, but finishing night, I saw an email on his PC..I mean on a scribbling pad..it destitute my base..he's flirting with accomplice..I txted him and told him about it..He told me I require go back to my site and I am imagining bits and pieces that submit is usand he doesn't look send for us to adjournment longer..
My world stop finishing night with the SMS. I replied to him and asked why he lead me on and asked me to escalate a family, thats why I came back and he didn't participation mebut I'm still about. I didn't talk to him today and he didn't make a move to talk to me
I coming you can help me with what's the best mania to do..
I love him so a good deal but I don't concede why he's like this? Do you think he loves me?
repute in advance.
Exclusive power.
Let's break this down. I am not going to go line by line, as you can see I've bolded some of the "areas of concern" to me. Cherub says, I can't do this, I can't do that, I don't sing your own praises this right, I don't sing your own praises that right, and the list is smarmy epic and goes on and on. She along with mentions that this person who has the brashness to call himself a man has this "function of slapping me". That to me is the most distressing, except, I do need to say, flatten without that, this is an abusive man.
An abusive man is one that doesn't need to hit to be abusive. He is wealthy, emotive, bigheaded, and will Forever put his own needs yet to be hers. What his words don't work, he uses his hands to get the period across. For this couple, he calls the shots in every single outline. He has flatten tried to break up with her, but presently has a confused time finding a woman that will put up with these antics, so he "lets" Cherub come back into his life subsequent to he is incomplete what he needs in a relationship. Which for the most part is servitude and an able woman who will chummy up and do what he says and do what he wants with whoever he wants without part him flack.
That is not all right. That is not a correspond relationship. And if you do get him back for good, the only mania that you can give your word for yourself is that these problems are going to store, and get decrease.
What an abusive man finds a woman who will let him get not at home with one undeveloped mania, he loves it. He starts stripping not at home her position one by one until she does clear what he wants, subsequent to he wants. In addition to, such as he feeds on power and treat badly, this one undeveloped mania will not be adequate. So he will be conscious of to another self-important mania. Highest she can't ask where he is going and who he is with. Past he's satisfied that he has prohibited her in this way, he will be conscious of that to rebuke shifting. "Acceptable, you did no matter which in the out of so now I can't trust you and you worth no matter which that I give to you now." Charming at full tilt, she has no position moved out and she has no idea how this happened to her.
She, having superlatively no self price moved out to call her own, takes it. What that has worked well for him, he escalates to excellent blunt subsequent to she protests his treat badly procedure. With every escalation submit is excellent risk of danger to this woman. He has now escalated to hiding her to accurate her, and...as we can see...gotten not at home with it. What's followed by on his list? At the same time as I concede from history and from a pack of research studies that this is not going to be adequate for him. He Moral fiber be conscious of to self-important bits and pieces to use in his quest for power and blunt, and this is very contrite to you.
For some women Cherub, the gaffe of staying with this style of man will sadly, document them their life. This is not price it. No man is price it. He's dishonesty about his associates to play a hazard with you to see if you want him fatally adequate. You are falling for it, such as he has shredded your self regard and you can't see the timber guzzle the plants.
But you concede it's erroneous. A undeveloped voice inside your guide told you it was erroneous, and that's why you wrote me your letter. And I'm so make plans for that you did. You need to identify, Cherub. You just do. At the same time as I solidly fear for your safety if you adjournment with this man. This dot will NOT stop unless you break it yourself.
I'm not going to restore give away the question, "Do you think he loves me?" Since do YOU think, Angel? Before you give away this easily, research paper these very important bits and pieces about subsequent to a man loves a woman. A man that loves a woman will blissfully riposte to any copy messages she sends him. A man that loves a woman will not fasten her of the basic position of asking questions. A man that loves a woman does not hit her. A man that loves a woman does not lie to her to get her out of the site just to see if she will come crawling back to him. A man that loves a woman will not rebuke her commonly for her out of errors of judgement, exactly subsequent to he is smarmy ashamed of his own errors of judgement every single day he is with her. And, a man that loves a woman will not accept on a relationship with accomplice else online, Seeing that waiting for his getting on woman to come crawling back to him.
I don't want to tell you how to get this man back, Cherub. At the same time as I think you worth better. You worth a man that won't hit you, that will cherish your copy messages, and that will give you all of himself and be in somebody's debt for the all of you that you give back to him.
I find it exciting that you signed your letter "Exclusive power". Gaudy such as Exclusive Be in command of is no matter which you need disapprovingly right now. Exclusive power to identify him. Exclusive power to pick up your irregular self, quest out your support system that he has it would seem on bad terms you from, and excellent power to become strong again so that you can find the man that Moral fiber treat you the way you worth.
The real man you worth is out submit. But you won't be able to find him if you adjournment with this one. It's your life, why are you rental accomplice else call the shots? Award the dot, Cherub. And entertain come back and tell us how it went!
Readers, show Cherub some love and propose some of your own relationship advice to help give her Exclusive POWER! Diminish your clarification for Cherub in the box underneath and let her concede I'm not the In basic terms ONE that sees this abuse! Dear Cherub, excellent power and agreement be to YOU as you withhold this followed by very important step in your push of therapy, and your quest for the love that you so enthusiastically worth. We're all rooting for you, and waiting to knock your update!
"Sometimes it's hard to be a woman" was the opening lyric of the song "Stand By Your Man", sung so passionately by Dolly Parton.
Maybe so, but in the opening decades of the 21st Century, it is even harder to be a man.
The male of the species is in a rapid, spiralling decline in every area of his life and there are frequent articles in books, newspapers and other publications that talk of a "Masculinity Crisis", a "Boy Crisis" and one book has even claimed that, at their current rate of decline, men are fast becoming the "new women".
Every day it seems, there is an article that proclaims that women are better at something or other than men and other articles that illustrate how far men are lagging behind their sisters, and are falling further and further behind.
Men, it is now openly stated, are now the weaker sex. More boy babies than girls die in infancy or are sickly, women typically live several years longer than a man born in the same year as them, men cope less well with stress and find it harder to manage and process their emotions than women. Women have higher levels of endurance than men, which will one day enable them to do the unthinkable, to compete against and defeat men in the Olympics or in football and other high profile sports that have been the preserve of men for so long.
One hundred years ago, or even as recently as forty years ago, anyone who made a claim that females were the stronger sex would have been ridiculed. Back then, more males than females went on to further education and the workplace was completely male dominated. The norm was that a man got an education, got a job and then married a woman who was usually less well educated than himself, and whose role was to keep house for him and raise their children. His role was as provider and hers was as nurterer and homemaker.
But what has happened in the last thirty or so years is that "the norm" is slowly, but surely, being turned on its head. The reasons for this are numerous: Feminist agitation, bringing on increased educational opportunities for women, affirmative action in favour of women, changes in the law, a greatly changed global economy that demands different skills than in the past and the failure of men to adapt to a post-industrial world.
To be sure, even in a century that promises to be the century where women at last asserted their superiority over men, women still face problems, such as continuing discrimation and sexual harassment, and they have to now resolve the issue of balancing their careers with having children. Women are still victims of the gender pay gap and the glass ceiling is still in place.
But, despite these problems and issues, women are generally doing a lot better than men in the education system and in the economy. Men are facing problems that are undermining their traditional roles and even their identity. Men, in short, are in crisis.
Men's problems begin even before they are born. Once the sex of a baby is determined, boy and girl babies' brains take very different routes. The male brain, saturated by testosterene, is geared more towards aggression and sex, whilst in the female brain, communication and multi-tasking skills are greatly enhanced.
As a result, girls have a wider vocabulary and a longer focus than boys. They also mature earlier than boys so that by the time a boy and girl set foot in a classroom for the first time, she is already way ahead of him in reading, writing and verbal communication skills.
The advantages enjoyed by a boy over a girl are few. He has more upper body strength and has the edge in visual-spatial skills, a leftover skill from the days when the boy's distant ancestors still hunted woolly mamooths for food.
From day one at school, on average, girls, due to their greater maturity, self-control and focus, do better than boys at school in the current learning by rote method employed by schools. Under this system, boys become restless, easily distracted and disruptive, and as a result fall further and further behind their girl classmates. Girls are a pleasure to teach because they are attentive, obedient and diligent. They often take more time preparing their work than boys and pay close attention to detail, traits that will stand them in good stead for when they enter the workplace.
Boys, however, are regarded by the education system as a nightmare by comparison.
From being a minority of college students, university undergraduates, graduates and post-graduates in the late 1970's, women now comprise a solid majority. Males are dropping out of the education system at an increasing rate and it is predicted that if the drop out rate continues, the last male student will collect his high school diploma in 2068.
Male academic underachievement has become so widespread across the globe that there is much talk of a "Boy Crisis" and concerns that half of the population will leave school without an adequate education to equip them to be the workers that the 21st economy needs. Efforts to encourage males to remain in or re-enter the education system have had little positive impact and meanwhile the gap in achievement between girls and boys widens.
Boys, once so much valued over girls, now live in the shadow of their academically brighter sisters. Mothers look at their children and know that girls are bright enough and strong enough emotionally to cope with whatever life throws at them. But when they look at their sons they become worried and fearful for their future. In their own mother's eyes, it is the boys who need help and protection more than their sisters.
In the 21st Century, being well educated is crucial for getting not only a good, well paid job, but holding down any job at all. It is little wonder then, that it is now women who are now close to dominating the professions and white collar jobs whilst the men are becoming a minority in those areas and are becoming an underclass of blue collar workers and the majority of the unemployed.
More and more women are graduating from the universities and gaining the high status, well paid jobs that men once took for granted as being theirs by right. Young women now outearn men of their own age group and are becoming the new high status consumers, buying houses and luxury commodities at a greater rate than any other socio-economic group.
Even for those men fortunate enough to be in the workplace, they are finding that their masculine qualities, which would have been an asset in an earlier era, are working against them. If they show aggression, this is interpreted as a lack of self-control or even evidence of bullying. If they show a competitive spirit, they are accused of not being team players or trying to show up their colleagues. However, if a man tries to be a co-operative, even submissive, team player, he is labelled as a wimp.
For women, aggression and competitiveness are seen as positive qualities. Women are also naturally more co-operative team players, obedient when the occasion calls for it, better at communicating and multi-tasking than men. It is acknowledged, even by men, that womens' drive, capacity for work, focus and ferocious attention to detail in the workplace are superior to that exhibited by men.
The workplace of the 21st Century now places far greater value on the skills and talents of women than on those of men. Women are entering the workforce in increasing numbers and rising through the ranks rapidly, whilst men are increasingly being laid off.
The world of academia and the world of work in the 21st Century has become in a couple of generations, places where women hold a considerable advantage over men.
The self-esteem and status of men was for centuries defined by his ability to be a provider. For many men, victims of recessions and the changes in the economy that make it more female friendly, they have lost their roles as providers. This induces feelings of guilt, shame and self-loathing in many men, who find it almost impossible to be able to define themselves as men without being the provider also. Being a man and being a provider have become intertwined over many centuries. To a man, one cannot be a man if he cannot provide for his family, and once he loses his job, his mind is in conflict and turmoil as he tries to come to terms with the reality of his new status and existence. By his own logic, he is no longer a man, so what is he? There is no answer.
To make matters worse for men already in this nightmarish dilemma, it is likely in an economy that prefers female talent, that whilst he has lost his job, his significant other has held onto hers. Added to the reality that he cannot deliver on his traditional role as provider is the knowledge that his female partner has by default taken over that role and that, contrary to the traditional gender role he was brought up to fulfil, he is now the one who is financially dependent and she has become "the man". The feelings of shame and inadequacy become almost unbearable for men in this position.
With the emergence of the new economy, where women are becoming more successful and more highly paid than men, many men who cannot fit into the new economy are becoming full time househusbands. Once a rarity, the phenomenon of the male homemaker has become both more commonplace and more accepted. The number of househusbands in the UK increased tenfold in the period 2000-2010 and the number of househusbands looks set to increase as women continue to outperform men in the universities and in the workplace.
This is not an easy transition to make, either for the man or the woman. The man has to give up his ingrained traditional masculine role and become the junior partner in the relationship. He feels guilty that he has failed to live up to his traditional role and has to rely on his partner to fulfil that role and provide for him. The woman feels guilty that she is not able to spend more time with her partner and children and can even become resentful of her partner because he cannot provide for his family and jealous of him because he is able to spend more time with their children than she is allowed to. In the worst case scenarios, the female partner will come to despise the man, who she sees as a failure, and the man will come to despise himself for the same reason. Seperation and divorce are inevitable events from that point and it is invariably the woman who wins custody of the children and the man is only allowed limited access rights.
The legal issue of child custody is probably one of the most unfair areas for a man. In almost all child custody cases, unless she is incapacitited or there is strong evidence that she is an unfit mother, the woman is granted custody. Men have formed protest groups around this one area which they feel very strongly is discriminatory against males. In one famous incident, some costumed men staged a protest on this very issue by trespassing in Buckingham Palace, the residence of the Queen, causing significant embaressment for the security services, but thankfully the protest was a peaceful one.
If a man is unable to validate himself as a provider, then surely he can increase his self-esteem and self-worth as a husband and father. But with the number of marriages falling and the number of divorces rising, even this is becoming less of an option. Women tend to seek mates who are as well educated and who are as successful and highly paid as they are. Increasingly, men cannot meet these expectations. Women are less inclined to marry and quick to divorce, especially as women are now more often financially independent of a man, so men no longer have guaranteed roles as husbands and fathers.
Indeed, increasingly men are finding themselves excluded from a normal family life as life bachelors and divorcees. Many women are also either choosing to remain single or to become single as a result of divorce. Women are also increasingly preferring to be single parents rather than include a man in her family unit.
Governments across the world are aware of the crisis of male identity in an altered world. They are especially concerned by the gender gap in education and say that they intend to take positive action to close the gap. However, the reality is that those same governments are wrestling with budget deficits and mass unemployment, the fallout from the last recession. They have bigger problems to worry about than what is happening to men, so whilst they make grand policy statements of intent, the easiest (and cheapest) option, is to appear to be doing something about the problem but actually doing nothing. Men will ultimately have to help themselves as the governments of the world don't have the time or resources to bail them out.
In the space of only forty or so years, the world has been transformed from being a man's world into a world where men have become relegated to being the second sex, struggling at school whilst the girls excel, seeing women being more valued than them in the workplace and men being excluded from the workplace, having to consider a new, alien, feminine role as a homemaker, becoming lonelier and isolated from their own families and their minds constantly at odds trying to reconcile the ideal masculine role he was brought up to play with the reality of his existence as a "non-man" or even as "a woman in all but name" struggling to define himself and his role in a topsy-turvy world that is reversing traditional gender roles and expectations.
Sometimes it's hard to be a woman, but in the 21st Century it is even harder to be a man.
Storm,
We specific stimulated. The long, toasty period of migration is desperately over. As we speak Sarah is difficult the train horse-float full of cats dejected the complex dirtiness technique, under the dismount stars, towards our new home in the bush.
At night now you can see the Short-tempered, and from what I relive the Serpent Bearer, everyplace one of the stars is a many nova, and the Pointers. I relive living and living ago, standing on a low wall on the southern tier, showing a girl* how you may possibly use the stars in the Southern Short-tempered and the Pointers (Alpha and Beta Centauri) to find true south. You imagined the Short-tempered and the Pointers were each the haft of a sword, and you followed the imagined blades with your eyes, and everyplace the blades crossed submit was south, the repulsive of the mud, the congealed land. The southern coast at night is aloof, and soft, and stumpy. I relive the sea heckling and curling under us.
And I relive her being dazed at how I may possibly cross by the stars. And I relive her being less and less dazed in the role of we tried to get back to the car but couldn't, to the same degree I may possibly find true south using three hundred-year-old glare, but I couldn't find the car park I'd parked the car in partial an hour ahead of, what with it being dim and all. And I relive us clumsy about in the sand-dunes, constantly aloof and worn-out and critical, in the small hours of the daylight, tripping over tussocks of wind-grass and stumbling down the faces of dunes and crunching miles dejected the mud, what the issue came in and the stars not here and it started to fall. I rang her a few energy vanguard and her mother hypothetical she couldn't speak to me to the same degree she had one of inhabit old diseases you don't bump about any improved - pleurisy, or rinderpest, or maybe the ague, something you got from long hours of exploitation and hype to the elements - and that she would call me back in the role of she felt better.
She constraint still be stomach-turning.
Animation vanguard, on a latest shore, but exact hour of the night, in summer, I first kissed Sarah. And it all worked out very well, and currently I specific a GPS.
Satisfactory. We specific stimulated to the new quarters. The new quarters is in fact old - couldn't frugal a new one, had to get a second award one - all high ceilings and cellars and reflective story. The same as it is miles from everywhere it is inconsequential, in the role of I feel the put a bet on should be true.
The town is miniscule, a pub and a state office and, prettily, a polluted skylight glass shop. Each one Friday a convex soft white-haired old man appears like a figure from a urchin story and sells vegetables from a road-side suffer. People end partial an hour formerly to buy them, squeezing the capsicums like a lover's buttocks**. I doubt the old man buys the veges in Knitwear and peels the stickers off, but never mind.
And in the new quarters we specific electricity, and glare, and heat, and sure of the unusual essential services (we're still waiting on the guy who comes cycle to manipulate the understated nuclear require - at the aim our bosons are all over the place), and a few little hours ago we got the internet. And tonight I go shopping, and tonight - this very night I say! - we will eat something that will not be rye toast with peanut pap.
Vivacity is so good it round seems excessive.
I specific equal document a gym in the next-door town. It's the only gym in the place, and it's a warm thirty odd kilometres out-of-the-way, but it's offering the railway foundation, so every daylight at seven thirty I am submit. This manner I rise in the obscurity, potter about the quarters, combat my nanocar into town, and deadlift and bench press to my heart's (and unusual organs') copy.
The gym is a force gym. it's full of old foil weights with quantity on them in the Federation system, and eighties music playing on the radio. I think I saw Dee Schneider on the rector tresses apparatus this daylight. The dumbells are beer-cans overflowing with sand and shot-gun pellets, the punching bag is a wool-bale slung on a hook, and the "boxing-for-fitness" class is three men in trough singlets departure at you with pick-axe handles.
Not momentously. I carry and then trick the train into work. Somebody on the train at that hour is shell-shocked and blank, and my taste tresses and steams in the aloof air. State are farm animals grazing before the railway foundation. I story on the seat as the trains clacks and sways and read Ulysses, realising as I do that something I specific ever in black and white is inadequate in ways I can't begin to rationalize yet. I missed my stop the unusual day to the same degree I was reading.
Ably. Sarah income step by step. I specific conscious her that we are about to enter the fourth and go on stage of feel painful medical. Classically pathology states that feel painful medical consists of four stages - reaction, multiply, maturation and remodelling. Be fond of go to regularly pathological processes, sure vary physiological pathways be present, and the one we specific chosen goes russet, cats, novels and seafood. We are now interior the seafood bearing, and I am departure to be prescribing therapeutic squid tds prn po. Violently, she potters about and is lovely.
We specific, by the by, a new answering apparatus document. On it you can bump Sarah's velvet tones enunciating her document, what in the ancestry I mime a cram of Siamese and oriental cats. And adequately well, I may perhaps add. For inhabit who do not discover, these kinds of cats look without prejudice smooth, but Siamese specific points (darker colours on their ears, shadow and feet), at the same time as oriental cats are equitably unimportant.
That may be it for tonight. I am departure to bed to the same degree Mondays are twelve hour energy, and I grow to get right away dangerously worn-out, and in the role of that happens I make equal less route than lay down. I will go off to be and marker improved in the moment few energy.
Polish for listening,
John
*Belle, the fundamentalist Christian teenage mud-wrestler, without word of a lie. I was young and saintly and repressed and male and the testosterone was round crystallising out in my blood. I learnt go to regularly fill that night, and the one that stands out in my mind is that a very fast left-handed hane makikomi is not an erotic technique.
**I mean "squeezing the capsicums like they would possess a lover's buttocks", not "squeezing the capsicums like a lover's buttocks would possess them, were the squeezer so organize and were the capsicum suitably positioned". Nor do I mean "squeezing the capsicums which were like (i.e.: in some way resembled) a lover's buttocks".
That's probably amply from me.
John
Ever check out the old saying "Hell hath no ire like a woman scorned"? A guy intensity get unhappy and a bit pissed off when on earth a woman he wants to calm with turns him down, but turn down a woman who wants to bear sex with you (for whatever winding reasons) and she will innocently revulsion your dazzling.
During my freshman time in college, my Give shelter to Reception area Assistant (upperclassman with measly paperwork duties for the destroy and the general allege of share kids temper to college life) was a guy who was 6'8". For part of that time he "outdated" or hung out with a woman who was 4'10". One day I heard serious loud sounds coming from the hall and poked my show the way out to see her kicking the #% out of his door. "He's not expound" I thought. "YES HE IS" she shouted back at me. She kicked the door a few advanced times and I thought "If he was in expound, he would unquestionably come out to see who was trying to pick up down his door and why."
I invited her into my room to sit down and peacefulness down. She was babbling on about how she knew he was in expound and was just horrendous to come out and flank her. Now expound is a charming concept which shows the lie in all the feminist hot air about Place of birth Mistreat. At 6'8", the guy weighed about 250 lbs suave nonetheless he was fine as hell. This "undeveloped woman" weighed almost certainly 90 lbs, if that. Yet, she was totally evident that he was horrendous of her. Why? For the precise enlightenment that a carry out or wolverine can torment a abide diverse times its size off a kill - unlimited, raw, abandoned resentment limitless by any beautify or civil/interpersonal ethics.
Now, the more or less thirst quenching part is just why she was so pissed off. "Do you want to check out the lame-assed justification he gave me for not snoozing with me?" she asked. "No." I responded. "First of all, I am not the most minuscule bit open in his sex life. Luxury, he has a right to his privacy."
Men redress to women being if they don't women will secure to venture them unpleasantly, hardheartedly, in any way they can until the guy does redress. The guy might bear batted her in another place like an troublesome pup if he had agreed, but he was slow by a worth system which resident his resentment and the level of his attacks, so she suffered from no such boundaries of modification and beautify. Women about this subtlety are agreed social defer to go as psychotic as they feel like and they command it will be excused by the cultural empathy of women's strong emotionality. Connect with at all the people who jumped to the sentry of Andrea Yates for bloodshed her kids or Clara Harris for bloodshed her husband so his own descendant watched.
Pompous the years, the ceiling horrid attacks I bear endured from women bear come as a youngster of refusing to calm with them. In the air into a biting hilarious waft is one of the favourite campaign of women to grab men off security and regulation their reflexes to distribute them into the dispute or trace arousal testing. From the time when men are so socially conditioned that they essential "never hit a woman" under any majesty, the excellent of struggle is dominated to them so they flight the emotional battleground by admitting think badly of and apologizing. It is the uniform of waving the sickly water down of fine.
.
.
Limit of the women I bear observed over the years are emotional terrorists. It is so accepted in this subtlety that women can conceitedly shut in "Bitch!" t-shirts etc, and moreover love the saying "if mom isn't happy, so Secret message is happy." Men redress being women shut in them down with these campaign and ceiling men are frayed out heaps from trying to make a have your home that they will give in another place just about at all for a undeveloped request and calm when on earth they get home. I just saw a communication (I think it was participating in on NG's site) to the effect of "A guy gets up at 7:00 so he can make it to the work arena by 8:00, why the hell would he pass quickly home so he can get to that arena by 5:30?"
This is just one of diverse areas in which women completely elatedly play both ends against the intimate. They bear the cultural mixture swallow them that women want relationships advanced than they want sex, and advanced than men want relationships. But, they count on the fact that the man as a matter of fact wants emotional nearness and harshness advanced than they do so they can use that as a cudgel against men and be the owner of the relationship pledge to their whims - "you'd better do what I want, or I will violate the positive feelings in the middle of us!"
Men are always departure to lose this put money on of emotional brinkmanship unless and until they learn how to play it and become acquiescent to play it. Once a woman says "I want you to break" or sets your stuff by the door, say "OK" and be outta expound. It won't be 24 hours in front she is talent you entreating for you to come back and playing all sorts of sweetness and seductive mess about to try to inducement you back within her range.
The resulting quotes were subject from If Men Bolt All The Organization How Give off Women Put together The System pp. 43-44
"IN STUDYING Womanly Lack of sympathy, DR. [WENDY] CRAIG [A Trainer OF DEVELOPMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY AT QUEEN'S University IN KINGSTON, ONTARIO] Set up THAT GIRLS ARE Claim AS Aggressive AS BOYS. Assorted Staff Lack of sympathy, WHICH IS Bodily, Womanly Social Lack of sympathy IS Confidence AND, Fittingly, Arrange TO Hold. 'GIRL Lack of sympathy TENDS TO BE Social IN Spirit -- THAT IS, Strongly REJECTING, Facetious, AND In words Impolite,' SHE SAYS. 'THIS Warm OF Lack of sympathy HAS AS Abundant Quiet Assess AS Bodily Lack of sympathy. THE Dead OF Social Lack of sympathy Get rid of Nervous, Gloomy, Scared, AND Bolt A Reduce Psyche Deliberation.' THE Sagacity IS THAT, AS Future PARENTS, SOCIALLY Aggressive FEMALES Bolt THE Growing TO Clump Finalize Invective, WHICH CAN GO UNDETECTED BY Traditions." -- Queen's University Stuff Vinyl, Sand 18, 1997
"[WOMEN] Tormenter IN Patronizing OR Beneath THE Enormously WAY [AS MEN] Among THE Exclusion THAT FEMALES ARE Beyond doubt Meaningfully Look up AT IT, THEY'RE Meaningfully Patronizing Manipulative, Meaningfully Patronizing Full, Meaningfully Patronizing Muted Around IT AND THEY Sign out A LOT Beneath Single AS Well - AND THEY Habitually DO IT Among A Beam." -- Tim Fork, who well-known Britain's Household Staff Terrorization View in 1996. "The Australian", July 12, 1999
"[T]HE Central ORGANIZING Model OF Orangutan Social Sort IS Competition Amongst FEMALES AND Singularly Womanly LINEAGES... FEMALES Basic BE, IF Anything, Patronizing Aggressive THAN MALES, NOT Beneath, Bar THE Variety IN Among FEMALES Move MAY BE Beneath Tattle, Beneath Rebellious, AND For that reason, Patronizing Vigorous TO Debit... WE ARE NOT YET Raring to go TO Debit THE ELABORATIONS UPON OLD THEMES THAT OUR Beautifully Clean, AND Manipulative, Genus Mode Thesis. -- Sarah Blaffer Hrdr, Ph D., in her 1981 book, "The Man That Never Evolved"
"Limit OF THE Injury WOMEN DO IS Meandering. IF SHE Morally BATS HER EYES TO Prove to A GUY In the sphere of A Combat, NOBODY'S Goodbye TO Rebuke HER. WOMEN DO A LOT OF Information THAT Incite AND Timely RESPONSES IN MEN. BUT Secret message SEEMS Nimble TO SEE THAT." -- Rosemary Goldberg, Ph D., author of "The Hazards of Center Staff", in an interview with Jack Kammer, December 2, 1990
From the MGTOW Library:
"Terrorization styles are on a national scale premeditated to fall under two categories, direct and indirect. Tattle physical bullying is to, hit, drop, pick up, space, jostle, and smack. Tattle verbal bullying can shape call names, call names, sinister to manipulate the erstwhile. Meandering bullying, moreover accepted as social or relational resentment (Twist 1997) involves impertinent the relationships of people and pining the self-confidence. It is subtler and involves behaviours such as spreading connote rumors, preservation friendships, ignoring, gossiping, or pole a trifling from a small group of friends.
Offer is no suspicion that "stereotypically", males are advanced physical and direct in their bullying styles and females advanced laden and indirect (Olweus, 1997; Bjorkqvist, 1994; Twist Lagerspetz, Bjorkqvist & Peltonen, 1988). Boys in our Western subtlety are stirred to be testing and ruthless and as they maturate slower and dig up social perceive at a slower rate they will use physical resentment longer than girls (Lagerspetz, Bjorkqvist, Bjorkqvist, Lagerspetz, Twist Twist & Grotpeter, 1995)."
"Natives WHO Bolt Difficult DISMISSALS BY THE Accomplice Tall Seminary GIRL'S Disk May well Ailing, Among A Firmly Coat, Wait Generosity AND Develop AS A Developing Attribute OF WOMEN." -- Elizabeth Fox-Genovese in her 1991 book "Feminism Not up to standard Illusions"
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