Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Your Mama Is The Reason Were Not Married

Your Mama Is The Reason Were Not Married
{Untitled Photo of mother and son arguing}. [photographer unknown]. Retrieved on May 1, 2014. From:http://images.tvfanatic.com/iu/t full/v1371231757/mother-and-son-argue.pngWith the close of the last season of "Real Housewives of Atlanta", many viewers had the opportunity to see mama Joyce put the hammer down on Kandi Burruss's fianc'ee, Todd. Kandi's mother, Mama Joyce, was constantly interfering with their relationship, going as far as accusing Todd of cheating and being an OPPORTUNIST, solely out for Kandi's money. Mama Joyce wasn't having it, plain and simple; and if you've seen the pictures floating around the internet, she definitely ruined the candid photos with her "I HATE TODD" attitude written all over her face.

Many men have bumped heads with their future mother-in-law. Ideally, Todd handled the situation like a real stand up guy. It's important to approach the mother with sensitivity and respect. Share your perspective and be sincere about your intentions with their daughter. But NONE of this matters if your fianc'ee "isn't" on board with trying to improve the relationship. When approaching marriage, you have to make decisions that will benefit your relationship. Ladies, of course in the meantime, you don't want to ruin the bond that you may have with someone as important as your mother, but at the same time it's important to make sure that she doesn't interfere with your happiness.

Most men will only endure the situation for so long before beginning to realize that he may not have a stand up woman in his corner. For our kids, many parents will believe that no one is good enough for their baby, but will also come to the harsh conclusion that they will find love, they will leave the nest and they will apply some of the good and the bad to build a new foundation in their relationship. It's definitely a balancing act trying to please all parties involved. If you find that your mother is interfering in your relationship, you should find the best way to communicate with her where she will listen, whether it is in-person, phone or letter. She should know that your love is not a competition.

By: J.L. Kirkwood (Marriage & Family Therapist)


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