Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Per Person

Per Person
So you hire a wedding planner, because they're supposed to make your life easier by organising and sourcing things for you, so you don't have to. And if you're lucky, you find one who takes it upon his/herself to locate the best available deals on your behalf. That is if you've got a planner who is used to dealing with budgets, and I have a feeling ours isn't. The last time we met, Miguel was telling me about a couple of his Japanese clients, whose only specification was that they had the most expensive of everything - taking the catering price (per person) to just under 1000 Euros. They must have had some amazing wines at that price, which were hand-picked by the couple's male personal assistant, who flew in especially ahead of the wedding to oversee everything. I don't think my planner actually met the couple until the day of the wedding.

Though we have a fairly decent budget, no one likes to feel they are paying a lot of money for something which they know they can get cheaper elsewhere. Food, wine and flowers - we're happy to spend a bit extra on, after all, these are the sorts of things you have to get right. But when it comes to smaller items, things that help create a mood, but are non essential and often not even visible, then I feel it's a good idea to shop around for more economical options.

Just this morning I was able to source our favours from an online American company for a quarter of the price our planner had found. Not only do they look nicer, but they are the colour we want, and are customized. Likewise on candles. I'm just annoyed that it's me that has had to have the initiative to shop around for these things, and more so, will now have to schlepp them to the South of France.

I love our planner - he is kind, has great taste, is enourmously generous with his time, and has a string of the best suppliers in his part of the world, so I know we're going to get something spectacular with them on board. However, and this is the same with regards to anyone you put in charge of something on your behalf, you do have to keep tabs on things in order to manage creep. Ultimately these guys are creatives and there mission in life is to actualise a vision. More often than not, they are deaf, dumb and blind when the word 'budget' is mentioned. I know, because I used to be a creative myself, and used to find the mere mention of 'budget' a vulgar utterance in the presence of my creative (and arrogant) genius. *cough* *cough*

Though having a planner does takes a huge weight off in terms of running around and organisation, your responsibility then becomes reigning them in to ensure you are not presented with a massive bill at the end of it all, and left scratching your head thinking, 'Jaysus, I didn't realise just how expensive candles were." Ah, but don't you remember, I told you, the candles had monograms, that were blessed by the pope and the holders were hand stitched by Buddhist monks, on a full moon, while chewing lotus leaves. I mean, duh!

And when it comes to weddings, you very soon learn to hate the words 'per person'. Everything - even down to the rental price of the individual napkin rings is priced per person. This is why when a friend of mine suggested, in the absence of his partner, he might bring a date who is unknown to either Robert or me, I nearly hit the roof. Not only were the invites for addressee only, thereby ensuring we only have people attend that we both know, but didn't this guy realise what this unknown date's napkin ring was costing us?

Honestly, it's this kind of crap that results in women losing a ton of weight ahead of their weddings. It's not that you go on any kind of diet, it's just who can eat when one the one hand you are busy keeping an eye on an ever ascending budget, and on the other having to politely tell your friends and family that your have to draw a line somewhere. And once all your RSVP's are in, if their spouse or girlfriend cannot make it, as sad as it is, it also happens to be one less person to pay for. Forget bringing the girl you just met but swear is your soul mate. Soul mate? Do you know how long it took me to do my table plans, and find you a place at the singles but not single table? Do you honestly want to screw up my boy-girl ratio? Do you?

The whole thing becomes an ugly case of brass tax, and I think the honeymoon was designed simply so that you can recover from all the haggling and politics, and spend the time writing long apologetic emails to everyone you've managed to offend in the run-up to the big day. Honeymoon indeed.

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