WELL, FINDING IS A DATE IS NOT ALL THAT DIFFERENT THAN STARTING A BUSINESS. BOTH REQUIRE CONFIDENCE, STICKING YOUR NECK OUT, AND BEING WILLING TO FAIL.
Entrepreneurs are in a unique position. They work a lot and feel others don't understand their bustling lifestyles. But ultimately, entrepreneurs want to find love like everybody else.
That's why I'm here to help.
Here are the most common mistakes I see that keep entrepreneurs from finding love:
1. YOU'RE EMBARRASSED BY FAILURE
Being embarrassed by failure and unwilling to admit any missteps is a huge turn off. It's indicative of an inability to be vulnerable, which prevents you from getting close to others.
Everybody messes up sometimes, whether its in love, our careers, or something else. It's human.
I worked extensively with an entrepreneur who'd almost lost his business during the economic crisis. Although he wasn't shy about admitting what he'd lost, it made him downplay how much he'd accomplished. He saw it as a failure, even when it wasn't.
2. YOU'RE DOING IT ALONE
Many entrepreneurs say that they don't have enough time to date. Many of my clients tell me dates feel like "appointments."
But-news flash!-dating is supposed to be fun. Make the process easier on yourself by GETTING SOME HELP. Dating coaches, fancy matchmakers, and people like me are waiting in the wings to guide you through the process.
Many feel there's a stigma about getting dating help, but look at it as process optimization.
Everyone's doing it (trust me- I'm working with these people). You're not pathetic.
3. YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
When you die, are you going to wish you'd built a business instead of having a family or a rich, full life? At some point, you have to put your foot down about what you can handle.
Just take a lesson from this woman's experience:
Anaisabel Garcia, founder of Tribe Public Relations, just ended a relationship after 4 months of stressful negotiation. She regularly works 15-18 hour days, 7 days a week.
"The little time I had left was spent with [my ex-boyfriend], and still I was glued to my phone, which he hated. I don't eat breakfast, rarely have a lunch break, and I usually have dinner with potential clients or partners, so he pretty much would just get whatever energy was left over."
Take it from me -- a life of constant craziness just isn't worth it.
No matter what, you need to take care of yourself. Sleep, food, and clean clothes are non-negotiables.
Spending 15-18 hours per day working is a set up to get burnt out, not just in love, but in life.
Both men and women want a significant other who will take care of them, so you need to be taking care of yourself.
4. YOU'RE NOT REALLY PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE
Most entrepreneurs are super busy and neglect to put themselves out there. The following sentiment from Cleighton DePetro, founder of Sempurna Restoration Clinic (and 28-year-old single guy in Chicago), seems to be echoed over and over"
"Since entrepreneurs constantly work, dating isn't easy. In the first few months after launching my online business, I never left the house, much less went on a date."
Cleighton didn't let his busy lifestyle stop him. Instead, he got creative and made dating a part of his busy schedule. He started landing dates at networking events. By bringing his whole self to his professional interactions, he's able to meet amazing folks to date.
Entrepreneurs can put themselves out there by blurring the line between work and play.
I'm not saying you should date your employees. But there's nothing wrong with using networking events as opportunities to meet people.
You MUST have outlets to meet people beyond online dating. Join a sports team or club. This isn't only good for dating, it's also good for taking care of yourself. When you pursue your passions, you'll find people with a complementary set of values.
5. YOU KEEP SECRETS AND GET COMPETITIVE
When I was single, I went on a date with a guy who wouldn't tell me what he was working on because he was worried we'd have competing ideas (we were both working for educational travel startups at the time).
"Come ON- this is a DATE," I thought. Huge buzzkill.
There's a lot of talk about whether entrepreneurs should share their ideas.
No matter your position on competition, don't get competitive with the person you're dating.
It's unattractive, makes the other person feel bad, and makes you seem like a total bore.
Ick. Obviously this guy didn't get a second date with me.
6. YOU DON'T PICK THE RIGHT PEOPLE
Life's too short to date people who aren't into what you're all about. They don't have to be hugely into SaaS, but they do have to be willing to listen to you talk about it.
You live and breathe your business- make sure the person you choose is open to hearing about what you do.
But also make sure they can infuse your life with other interests too. That's one of the best parts of finding love as an entrepreneur- you get a break from the work that's consuming your life.
Entrepreneurs need to be super focused on choosing the right people. It might help to have specific goals and to carve out a time schedule to make things happen.
IN CONCLUSION: YOU'RE A PERSON, NOT AN ENTREPRENEUR
When it comes to dating, you're a person first, then an entrepreneur. Sure, the fact that you've started a company separates you from the pack- you're busier, have more sleepless nights, and are totally cool with risk.
Ultimately though, you just want to find love like everybody else. Put your guard down and get vulnerable. Embrace love to the fullest. You deserve it.
"Emma Siemasko is an online dating consultant, entrepreneur, and content marketer. Her experiences include:"
* "Founding Frog2Prince, an online dating consultancy that helps men and women improve their online dating profiles."
* "Traveling all over Asia and Europe, finding out what it's like to date around the world."
* "Writing, writing, writing, and more writing. Emma has won numerous awards for her essays and poems."
* "Managing the Grasshopper blog, which caters to entrepreneurs and small business owners."
"SET UP A CALL WITH EMMA to learn about content marketing, content strategy, and writing your online dating profile. "
"Photo Credit: Rock and Wasp/Shutterstock"
The post Founders and Romance: 7 Tips to Salvage Your Dating Life appeared first on Clarity.
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